


Breathe

by WhiteCrane



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: Character Death, Fire, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteCrane/pseuds/WhiteCrane
Summary: Crisostomo Ibarra can never explain the way his heart burned along the flames that burned the flesh of a friend.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm still sad over Noli Me and how I wished Elias never died. Like I'm literally sad and it's because he's basically who Ibarra had left and he had to die. That broke my heart. 
> 
> I wrote this as smth that I can pour my feelings onto, as a way of sympathizing with Ibarra. Darn it Noli TvT
> 
> Enjoy this anyways~

_Breathe._

The sound of the flames were a taunt in his ears, the way the fires lit up gave his heart a painful lurch, his tearful eyes gazing upon the man who had died in his stead, eyes closed in a peace that Crisostomo Ibarra thought was given too early, chest stable to remind him the man no longer breathes, lips tainted with blood that Ibarra can no longer see to part and utter words,

and his tears fell. 

_Elias._

His name was like a broken poetry as he recited it in his mind, his quivering lips unable to mumble words as uncontrollable sobs came out. His heart ached in a pain that disabled his breathing, an enervation that he cannot find a way to escape from. 

Crisostomo Ibarra can never explain the way his heart burned along the flames that burned the flesh of a friend.

His hands found themselves clenched in tight fists, trembling in anger, in sadness, and regret. He had already lost so much, and now he lost what every bit of what's left for him. Someone who protected him, gave up his life and dream just for Ibarra to see and reach his, and the vile emotions that swirled in his chest caused tears to fall out of anger. 

He was angry at the world, at the people, and at death who had to take Elias away. 

"Senyor.." He hears a soft whimper behind him from the boy who witnessed Elias die, who was able to share a few words with him, who was able to hear Elias' voice before his death. Ibarra found himself incapable of responding, drowning in his own tears and mourning as he focused on the fire in front of him. 

It tormented him. 

He thought of every moment he and Elias shared, reminiscing the feelings that blossomed in his chest whenever he remembers everything that Elias did for him, how happiness was such a blessing as Elias showed himself whenever he was in Ibarra's mind. Elias became someone so close to his heart, someone who he will treasure until the end, someone he will never forget. 

That's why it's hard to breathe. 

_Breathe._

His chest felt tight, his breath staggered, and so did his stance. He fell upon his knees, choking out a sob until he wailed in so much anger and lamenting, crying out the tears his heart had to cry. He let out angry punches on the ground, burying his face in his arms as he sobbed without shame. His cries made it difficult to breathe, but Ibarra knows it was not the only reason. 

He wished he was there instead, in the fire. He wished he was the one to be mourned, not the one who mourns, because this hurts- this hurts so deeply. 

_It hurts._

His mind screamed and his heart wailed, his body exhausted and his soul torn apart. He hadn't stopped crying, because damn it this is Elias, this _was_ Elias, this was the man who gave his life meaning when it was becoming dull, this was the man who occupied his thoughts and heart since the start, this was the man who  _died_ for him. 

_This was the man I loved._

His thoughts were bitter, and so was he. 

_Breathe._

_Crisostomo, breathe._

He lets himself fall in an abyss to imagine that it was Elias who was comforting him, dreaming of Elias telling him to breathe, dreaming of Elias embracing him to soothe him, dreaming that he was here. 

_I can't breathe._

How will he anyways, when the reason for his breathing already _stopped_ breathing? 

So Crisostomo Ibarra drowns, he drowns in despair, in anger, in vengeance, and regret. So crestfallen that his sight blurred and darkened, his heart darkening just the same.

And when he stood, turned his back against the fire that already died, he was no longer the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you enjoy!


End file.
